they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
