It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
