so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
