I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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