So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
