Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
