is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
