all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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