and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
