...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize