My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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