brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
