WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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