new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize