More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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