is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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