it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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