You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize