Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I just googled if crying burns calories
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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