What a fucking waste of an outfit
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
This is classic penis vs brain.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Randomize
