I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
