why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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