I could make wine with my vomit
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
