You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Acid is not a monday night drug
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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