No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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