Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
