Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
