well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
