When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Randomize
