I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
