I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
