Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
