I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
