Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
