i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
