walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
how drunk are you?
Several
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
