The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
