I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize