Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
