Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize