Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
