your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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