did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
She even gives head with a lisp.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
