he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
