Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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