i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
