I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Randomize
