he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
