You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
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