I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I want to have your abortion
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
