a queef is a wish your heart makes.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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