you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Randomize
