okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
you're hired as official boob wrangler
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
