How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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