its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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