Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
wrigley field is MILF paradise
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize