Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize