i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
